Trauma informed individuals such as myself often do not have “close blood family” relationships, the one exception for me is my daughter and I work hard in this relationship often feeling like it can be taken from me at any moment. All due to this system which divides and rules our society.
With my own siblings, we can hardly stand to be in the same room together, we want to, we miss each other, we love each other and long for intimacy, but, we are often divided and estranged from each other due the early abuse, alcoholism and the violence that goes with it. POVERTY IS LEGISLATED IN A COLONIAL SYSTEM AND WE DO LIVE IN ONE. This colonial system literally divides our very families and lives. Too painful.
Many of us have rebelled against unhealthy systems of family yet, often we have no idea how to be in a family and question everything around family all the time. The questioning part is good as long as you have access to answers or help to find them.
We got a lot of what could be exciting work to do in community development ahead of us. We just need to allow that creative energy to flow and share it with as many folks as we can. Its healing.
As survivors, we often had to “fake it till we make it” all thru our lives in this unhealthy society divided by the colonial system.
Trust in community which is familial is a BIG issue for adult survivors of child abuse for the same reasons as with siblings. Intimacy. In Time I See. One needs to be able to do have that time with family in order to bond. When abuse is in the home, there is no safe place to hang.
The more trauma from childhood, the more difficult to have intimacy with people whom we feel are “family”. The more trauma and abuse from early childhood, the harder it is for us to even have our friends meet up with each other for fear they will “find us out.”
In the end, we relearn or repeat patterns and, I am ever grateful for the many folks in my life whom are the relearning survivor types. Bless you all, it was also great to meet so many new friends in London Ont. for the conference whom I had a lot of discussions with on this topic, please feel free to comment. Be brave.