In anti oppression 101 this comes up a LOT. Lets talk about it.
I had a friend over, and two intense conversations on phone due to local issue’s. There are way more of us than you think who struggle with this. Thanks for letting me know what is going on for you my friend. This goes out to you! I hope it helps others who also struggle with this…
To “Bobs Your Uncle” who is struggling with having his boundaries disrespected by a friend.
Basic anti oppression 101 will remind folks right off the bat that we all have rights and, that we are all responsible for change. No one is free from conflicts and or the potential for receiving or giving social boundaries/feedback.
Since we ARE suffering (know it or not) within an oppressive power over class based hierarchal patriarchal system which teaches us all bad behaviours and we repeat them over and over until we become mindful and change those behavior over many years.
Mindfulness to me is about being mindful about anti oppression and consensus. As humans we suffer and must learn that unnecessary suffering sucks and we are responsible to and we must believe we can change that.
Colonialism took away our ability to fight, took away the teachings of how we used to fight. Most of us have not learned how to fight now for generations.
We are all in this together.
I write this as I am aware of how many people globally are engaged in situations that are conflicting and it makes us scared. Many are in war torn area’s such as Palestine.
Many have a lot to fear. Its ok. Many are learning to be brave, that is what we teach our kids and now we as adults are being asked to be brave ourselves as we deal with this great social upheaval. Like elders told me years ago, “we got to learn how to fight, the fights’ been taken away.” Instead judges, police and military will protect, fight and decide for you, says colonial systems of divide. We are once again learning how to fight based on need.
Yes, mostly we naturally want to avoid conflicts, we cannot always do that, it often hurts us to do that, most conflicts can actually be worked out on spot. The longer you wait, the worse it gets and, its’ best to ask yourself in each moment: Do I need to speak out now or, can I let this go? How important is it? If not now, then tonight or tomorrow is critical OR, it’s best to let it go?
If you do not let it go and feel angry, that can turn to resentment, it can creep back up when you least expect it and that is often uncomfortable.
No one is free until we are all free and, I do not care if you are an adult or a child, a person with a disability on fixed income like me, a parent like me, a person of colour, gay or queer or trans like me, poor like me, or rich, working, union worker, politician…
IF you say something or do something that hurts, upsets, scares me, I will say or give feedback right off in one way or another. I am not a violent person, no one can tell you I ever hit anyone or threatened to hit anyone cause I never did.
So, you will be safe yet, you may feel uncomfortable cause I am honest about when you step on my toes. You can trust that about me. That honestly took me years to develop and I work on it daily still. I have not arrived; rather I can often be overwhelmed as to the work still ahead of us/me.
Respect and good luck to you both! Good luck to us all as we venture into conflicts while defending rights of others.
Thank you to all who are brave, honest and get it out there so we can deal with what most are ignoring, thanks to those who are patient, kind, forgiving, compassionate and keeping it real.