We all need an out, a break, a purge. Many don’t seem to know or have very many options as to how to attain this “break”, this cleansing, this much needed process humans have had the need to do thru, creative ritual, dance and drugs, then alcohol; sports, look at the scottish, their war games got turned into a nice wee sport by the english. how convenient for the Imperial Boss. Locally we don’t even have public shared space we can easily hang in without KKKOps bugging our assess.
I will not be a victim, I will not whine, I will hold up my head all the time.
when that day comes and I hit the low down, its happened before and its still coming round..
I’ll weep and wail as needed to be sure, and not one complaint you’ll hear that sounds victim, no, I will turn and face colonialism and wail it down to ground, maybe plant seeds while I’m at it.  I’m not too emabarased to let you near, allow you in on this aspect of my life. Most of you will not see this dispair, some of you do, you see it in my eyes wide open. you also see love strong standing, acceptance long lasting, strength brave and honesty; about my shortcomings, can’t hide them anyways, ups and downs are but a phase. Yet, that dark night of the soul comes a calling, and I’ll weep and wail as needed.

I, just so you know, do it at least once a year, at View Towers it was; 16 stories UP and everything tied down with windows wide open during a wind storm, it was NUTS! i’d wrap up in blankets and wail a good one, get it all out, don’t need that shit inside, “this is too much, what a fckng mess!; too much pain all over…”
You get some of this?:
‘this is too much. the fckng pain can feel too heavy inside: omfg when will it lesson? why do i have to do everything and why do I even feel this with so many doing so much to try and help? Class divide and stigma hurt. why do many feel so alone walking amoungst thousands? how did it get this bad? why can’t folks see how much better it can be if they only gave up…and took on…? How is it people have given up so much of their rights and don’t even know it? life can be and is so amasing and full of joy so, why all this suffering? It sucks to feel like “No ONe but me truely Understands Me and how I think or feel.”
Sharon Montgomery years ago when I was in my early twenty’s shared: “you are born alone as an individual and you die alone as an individual”.

Since hearing it I debated it, disagreed based on the fact a mom is there and often a community is there and our ancestors are there and so on, yet, baby’s and elders and the vulnerable whom are seperated from their families all the time in this violent messed up society; we HOLD THEM UPIN HEARTS STRONG.
yet, its true. like it or not, as far as the physical body goes, its true.  We are born and die alone…
We get thru this best we can and what ever it is we do, till that day, when we take that last breath, when we “pass, die, finish this journey and on to the next” we keep moving forward. Like the film “Hope Is Not A Plan” we all to painfully know this system does not take care of its own in terms of the colonial system we live and die in. So? We need a plan, all of us, each of us!

As more of us learn or remember that its gonna take a lot of us standing up and risking something. It might hurt, more than likeley there will be some pain involved. Right? We have all suffered. Aren’t we dealing with far too much now?

It can only get better if we face this pile of mess together.
Its all good. I respect your choice and thank you to respect mine.
Heads up, we got lots to share, each of us. Each of us has a story that is powerful, it speaks to our experiences, each of us.  We all have a place in ending this unnecesary suffering, no matter hjow much suffering we have gone thru ourselves, rememeber that.  You have a place in production of healthy community.

Photo on 2014-01-05 at 10.04 AM #2