It is what can drive us.  The need to deal with daily pain old and new gets some of us up early; while others stay up late.

Daily pain over years can add up.  Imagine for a moment the pain of losing for what ever reason, your job, your home, a member of your family, …, and now you’re on the streets.  Imagine having your children taken from you in a way that involved social stigma, rules in shelters, social stigma around mental health issues, or even false allegations of abuse.

Imagine the parent who must deal with this social stigma along with an angry ex who makes accusations of abuse with the law in order to get the ex back for the pain they caused.   The reality often is couples just need support from community to help get them thru a rough time, we all need to know its common to go thru a rough emotional time with break ups.  Anger and the need to feel safe can be lethal if not taken care of.

The problem is this colonial based legal system often always orders the couple to not only NOT see each other (this is often needed mind you) but, to also not talk to mutual community / friends about the issues and so on.  It is punitive and hierarchical in its core.

It would serve the community best to be supported in how to help people in diverse communities get thru conflicts as community and relearn how we actually can support couples thru the time when they are needing to have space from each other for what ever reasons.  Parents need to be able to be with their children and we have enough community in order to safely do that with supervision when needed.

There is enough community for everybody and we can get all our needs met IF we helped each other more with the amasing skill sets we all have now withinIN our diverse communities.

If your job is keeping YOU from community, then change this system because you are a slave.

Back to pain and imaginings:

Imagine you were never able to shake that false allegation of abuse.  Imagine the pain that could bring to your life.
Imagine this.  If unchecked this pain can easily turn into a syndrome.  One that becomes reactive and defensive to any boundaries placed upon this pained person.  Imagine this person freaking out one day and shoving you while they struggled in pain and anger.

Hurt and anger.  These are often two sides to one coin.  Please, do not assume that just because a person is reactive and even threatening means they are guilty of a crime!

Pain can drive people to lash out when they feel attacked, especially when their hearts are heavy.  Lets face it, we live in a judgmental, stigmatizing punitive world .   Compassion non judgment and non violence are what I want to lead in my life.  With that comes healthy boundaries which most were never taught.

If we have old pain inside us that is unchecked ie not taken care when needed, this pain can become violent to self or others.  Sad and angry.  It is a “red light” of help needed.  Dark night of the soul kind of shit.  I and others have “been there gone thru that”.  We all can make it thru our little “garden of Gethsemane”.

Imagine again if you will a parent assaults their child and is accused and never got support needed thus was never able to have healthy relationships with other adults and children again. Pain.  Divide and rule systems create the worst of it and yet do not help community, on the contrary, it adds injury to layer upon layer of injury.

We know beyond a shadow of a doubt with evidence over years that: to intervene and support all party’s involved in abuse or conflict right away is critical to recovery for many and most injury’s.

The answer to most conflicts is full community awareness and support.

In me wee opinion anyways.

This system however is NOT into health and good quality of life for all!  Does not protect all community but instead protects the rich, and the offenders and creates very unhealthy dynamics for communities.

Images of perpetrators are protected from the public, where as victims faces are splattered all over media.  Victims of violence are usually told they cannot speak of the violent offense or will be charged with slander.  Where as the perpetrators rights are often brought up IMMEDIALTLY when an abuse is brought up to a perpetrator.

The violent person did their crime so, its over.


We cannot heal without protection.  None.  No One!

Full disclosure can heal.  Keeping in mind of course the victims right to privacy.

Where is the support in our community to be able to deal with violence and abuse’ and how do we do it together so we can relearn skills lost in colonial teachings?

IF we can have healthy boundaries, we can relearn old skills.

Let folks know your boundary in a public setting.  This can help.  Having witness’s is important and critical if you worry about safety.  Quakers have a lot to offer and teach us in all of this and, the street family have a lot to teach us as well in terms of reality of rights being abused.

Police and legal systems are often hurting our ability’s to resolve conflicts together.

Having said all of this, I also understand fully the “legal need for and use of the current legal system” and how the police are supposed to be there when we need them for help and support.

There is the idea and there is also the reality of abuse within these two systems.

Like debie O’Connell states clearly in Taking The Fall and Rising: “We try and teach our children about bullying and not to do it, how can we teach them when we have a police force that runs rampant with it? I would never tell my children to go to police for help cause I see how they treat the homeless and people they don’t like.”

All of us live under the colonial laws.  So, in reality, no one is free, its just that some have more of an illusion of freedom than others. Its all based on a colonial power over system of illusory privilege that uses still to this day a divide and rule path or pathology to entice its slaves to work and be good little consumers.

Neo CONservative Harper’ites and local Neo Liberlals are now proven to be parasites on us the people, nature at large and even our very water and air.

These Neo Conservative and Neo Liberal parasitic ideas have taken hold and now threaten our young and our very futures.  I know of at least one mom who frequents Our Place who’s son went down to the US National Republican Convention in Florida even with the threat of that storm, to be with the new young Canadian and American Neo Cons or Conservatives or Republicans.  The expenditures to conservative outreach is BIG to our youth.  Sad and angry state we are in and many crave direction in these times, Those Nimrods are leading our young!  Makes me think of pre German World War 2 propaganda.

We got work in outreach to do.  Now do you see why we have the right to protest and need to exercise it?

kym hothead


Check ot this web post on “PAIN (and Prescriptions)”: